getting there

There are a few ways that one can travel to Somalia:

One such is a flight called UNCAS, renamed to UNHAS at some point. Although I have no idea whatsoever what UNCAS (or UNHAS, for that matter) stands for, I do know that they charge an exorbitant $900 or more. Why? God knows. Perhaps they consider the fact that they take the passengers on a Somali safari, dropping by all the airports available in Somalia (it seems) on every flight you get on, making a very long flight ever so slightly longer. Very thoughtful of them really, as there is much to enjoy at those airports: who wants to miss the sights and sounds of dust, fuel, goats and gunshots? UNHAS/CAS also charges for the fact that once in a while there is a chance that they might lose a plane to fire when they fuel - my project manager once turned to watch the plane being fueled and also watched as the fuel line caught on fire. Oops. And one must not forget the delicious smells of the pilot's lunches that they serve on an UNHAS flight - you may not get a mouthful, but you sure will get a noseful! UNHAS does not serve food on their flights, but you can sit and listen to your stomach grumble as you inhale the delicious scent of someone else's lunch.

And then there is ECHO. ECHO is free, and has no bathrooms in their planes ('nuff said!). I'm convinced that even the most experienced and strong-stomached flyer is likely to get sick on an ECHO flight, or an ECHO landing. You might also freeze your toes off, in which case, you will be immediately flown back to Nairobi as a medical emergency - hmm...ECHO also has a tendency to develop problems mid-flight and seems to regularly need to turn around and land back where you started from. But for some reason, this only happens when you are  flying from Somalia. 

And of course, one must not forget Daalo. Daalo is Somalia's, erm, airline. Or perhaps I should say 'airline', as it seems more to be an echo of what an airline should be rather than an actual airline itself. Stories heard on Daalo: 

• And then the pilot who smelled of whiskey, shoved me out of the way as he hurried to the cockpit carrying his rather large bag of duty free alcohol. 
• The flight attendant told me to sit over there because they needed to 'balance' the plane.
• The plane took off with a broken air conditioning system. It was so hot people literally started to take their clothes off, and when the passengers complained, the pilot said, 'Well, if you wanted a cooler flight, you should have flown earlier in the morning."

Perhaps these airlines are meant to prepare you to enter Somalia. In that case, I say BRAVO!!!